Ummmmmm......

Wonderous Punch drunk love...

WELL, it's finally here…. The moment you’ve all been waiting for.  This crucial moment in my life. The tides have turned, and the gates of heaven have opened up, and an inundation, a downpour of credence have rushed ashore, and spun a tsunami of happiness over the southern hemisphere…

YEP

You guessed it…

Celibacy Blues is sing another tune....

 … And how does it feel???

Like a virgin  again… WTH??

OMG. I could not F’N believe how much pain I was in.  I knew it was not going to be easy, but DAMN. Can you say a-bitch-was-on-SWOLE? …. For MUCH of the experience. 4 days of Wonderous Punch in the puccini, was everything I imagine, and a lot I didn’t think I’d need an icepack for. At one point we made a condom run, and he picks up Trojan fire and ice. I was like “ummm…. hell2danaw.” Shit was already on fire lol. “Don’t want no parts of non-a-that.” I think we ended up with Her Pleasures.  But I seriously think he broke it. Lol. Can you break a V-jay-jay? Any Gynecologist in the house?

Anywho, I guess you’re probably wondering, does this make him the ONE? Do I have a ring on my finger?  Well, the answer is YES, he’s the one. The ring?  Proposably (made up word)—proposal+possibly. Probably doesn’t make sense, but let me explain. Not a real engagement ring, but commitment and promise ring, although, he has technically asked, and there was a tentative acceptance. Not in the traditional sense, but in theory, as we see how the relationship progresses. Then we can revisit said  put-a-ring-on-it proposal.  

Even though, the ring was not necessarily a requirement, in my sexual hiatus, a deeper connection and commitment was what I was after. The idea of true Celibacy is about abstaining before marriage. #FAIL…  I do struggle with actually wanting to do that. That would be the ultimate symbol of true commitment to one another. HE has in fact suggested it. He is strong in his faith, and fears God. #gottalovethatman. He has come to believe in living right in the eyes of God, in regards to sex before marriage. So this idea was not too far fetched for him when I first told him I was newly Celibate. I guess I should say Abstaining, applied better to the situation at the time, because as soon as I said it, he slipped and fell accidently in my abstainence.  #FAIL... but circumstances and distance allowed me to quickly recovered soon after.

What just happened?

                                                           

2 weeks later, and the walls have retracted, and I can finally pee straight... here it is, after 10 long, Long, LONG months, I’m no longer Celibate/abstaining.  Well, kinda am, but not by choice. He IS still currently 1200 miles and 19 hours away. So, I guess now that I think about it, back to square one. DAMN.… well at least my puccini gets a break.  

He said he wanted to feed me

He said he wanted to feed me
Tongue taste him,
Lips to sip on every word,
Drinking every drop, his ink
Smooth taste on my lips, inebriated,
Left me without my inhibitions
Trying to find myself,
Lost in translation,
My mind, left
To defend against nature
Immersed in my essence,
He proposed,
Before I could decline,
My body accepted,
My mind left me,
In a hypnotic trance
Legs like putty
Wrapped around his words
Thighs soft like butter,
Melted on a honey bun,
Hands cuffed, his pen
Extended to write a
Verse to draft the next

DA CODE

Like a couple of a weeks ago, borrowed my sister's car, cause mine was on the fritz. She had a ‘spare’. So, at work one day, last week, forgetting I was in for my sister's car, left the lights on, mine I don't have to turn on; they come and go off automatically. So, 2:00 comes and I go to lunch (late lunch). Head out to my car, thinking I’m about to get some greasy burger/chicken sandwich, (I didn’t’ need from Wendy’s anyway) only to find out the car doesn’t start. Not saying anything… at all. So the first thing I do, of course, check the lights, and yes. I left them on.  So,  I get a jump, and when the car starts, the radio doesn't work.  But it’s flashing CODE. I’m like, “CODE”, WTH??????????  I CANT GET NO TUNES… so immediately I call my sister, and let her know what happened. And so she says, “Oh yeah, my car has an anti-theft device. If you try to steal the radio, it’s not going to work without the CODE.  Honda has a low theft rate now.”   I’m thinking screw Honda. I need some music.  So she say’s she needs to search for the CODE she had on a piece of paper, she took out of the glove box before giving me the car.  Then she asks, “well, can’t you just listen to the CD player?”…. O_o   NOTHING WORKS..

this thing

Got me spinning

This thing

Thinking

Naughty

Things,

See this thing,

Is unraveling

I can feel

Deep within

This thing..

Got me thinking of slippin

This thing

Has me aching

Craving

This thing

Has me reminiscing

About kissing

This thing

Has me thinking

This sinking feeling

Feeling

this thing

Missing

This thing

I can’t help

But want

This thing

I’m missing

Wanting

Craving

This thing

Tasting

This thing

 Devouring

This thing

Has me touching

This thing

 Lusting

This thing

Wrap my head around

This thing

…Him

Composition of your love

You’ve touched me…. 

In ways no other man has

And never thought could.

…How good it would feel

Oh, I’ve pondered, and wondered

But until you’ve been touched

You could never feel the reality of it.

You’ve….touched…my….spirit

Our Last Time

Awaken by the teasing sun on my brow, my lashes part to envelope the light. Unraveled from the warmth of the night, as I realize his body’s left me, shaken, from the morning cool... I gather the sheet that lies between me and the winter air, covering only his touch Imprinted from the night before...I search my beloved, to christen my morning… As I do each daybreak. The icy floor beneath me glides my bare soles, to danse, as I tip-toe, resembling a demi-pointe. Down the winding stairs, I prance. At the end of the railing, with determination in my eyes, I seek until I find the lips that will capture my morning dew. From the patio, the array of colors tapping the dawn, flowers from the garden, as he leans to pick a rose. His poised silhouette devours the beauty of the landscape. I escape from the courtyard unto the lawn. He turns and sees me, and then we meet… lips lock. His tongue turns on the spout to water the lawn. As our bodies lay, flowering over and over, til the dawn turns to noon... His morning kiss is my waking sun…

Under Duress of Love

Standing at the alter, holding my left hand,
In his, he took my ring finger, and
Darned it with the most beautiful expression,
Of him, an impression I’d never forget,
Before God and our family,
He claimed me as his for life,
“I take you to be my wife”
Then we leaned in, kissed, to
Christen this gift of our new life.

But then I heard a loud shout,
“How did she do it?”

Celibacy Blues......."I'm not going to chase forever"

So, it's been approximately 6 months......................

Houston, we have a problem.................

“When a man hurts -- everything about him cries”

“our mouth could never say -- what is really and truly in our hearts

our eyes could never stare it's message back into your eyes

we shed no public tears and show no outward signs

but when a man hurts -- everything about him cries” BY  after vision 

Words seldom spoken, and what is, indiscernible,

Now the songs tell it all

Our ancestors hung from trees,

Grown from seeds,

Probably planted by their own hands,

Lives killed in effigy,

To remind us of ‘superiority’, keeping us ‘inferior’,

Visions burned in our eyes, over and over again,

Til the fire layered cataracts, that would inflame,

The iris, turning a blind eye to inferiority, and

Devise a plan of RE-action to gain control…..

Eventually overcoming obstacles

Designed to conquer, as our God

Never meant for us to stumble,

But lives had to be lost to envision

A better life to fight for….

Through all battles great and small,

Music carried us through it all…

Time Will Tell

Deliberate in its execution,

Time resist,

The inevitable union,

 Of two souls,

The hands pass slowly,

One on top the other,

In it’s hesitance to move forward,

In seconds,

Savoring ever minute

As it glides its big hand,

To grace the slender one,

As it prepares a new frame

 Of time,

 As the minutes

Appear to stand still,

Idle minds

Are the devils playground,